Bleebles

Wah! Feedback!

A bit of a rambling (maybe) today. I have been contemplating a lot today and seem to be at the back end of the day seemingly having not achieved much - have you been there? seem to be busy all day but nothing seems to have changed. Hey ho!

Owen was at the dentist today and having picked him from school early (about 1300hrs) we drove over to leeds dental hospital for his 1400hrs appointment and next round of treatment (what a brave boy, I think it hurts me more than him! sob sob).

Anyway today my thoughts have been about why I like and love my friends and family and seem to have instant chemistry with them??? I find that these friends are instantly in the category of being able to sit down with them, with no agenda, and perhaps not even saying anything too meaningful, but yet it seems to be worthwhile and great and chilled out!

Whats that about?

Well I think I have formed an answer, well for me anyway. There seems to be meaningful feedback from these people. Another description would be kindred spirits, which I think means spirits that are interlinked or similar. Needless to say - spirit is used in the loosest possible sense.

Let me expand ... As I evaluate the friends I have had and do have, for me they have, to a greater or lesser degree, been based on a deep feedback. Nope im still not explaining am I?! I mean it feels like we are communicating in many more ways than simply verbal. Heart to heart. Soul to soul. It means we are sensitive to each others needs on some level, somtimes shallow, sometimes something with considerable depth.

I love to probe about where someone is at and ask questions like; what are you passionate about? what turns you on? do you like your work? Is life great for you? that type of thing and quite honestly the response is piss poor (sorry mum and dad for swearing) I meant crap! he he

Furthermore, I went to a business networking event last evening and I spoke to a guy who I speak to regularly at this particular event and I was wondering why I am kind of always wanting to talk to him and its because he gives me genuine feedback to my questions and discussions. He has a level of honesty that is refreshing. He is the first competitor I get on a storm with. All the others at the event are described in the next paragraph!

So many people live on planet weather, planet work, planet holiday, planet shopping, planet latest car etc etc. I, quite frankly can not bear it and all i want to talk about is what makes you tick? what is it you want to happen in your life? what is it you are doing to improve your normal life? where are you looking for happiness? And the answer? Well sometimes it is complete tosh (also called a word that begins with 'b' and ends in 'it') sometimes the words are right but there is no conviction, genuiness or soul about the statement and just sometimes the words and feeling are spot on. I call this finding someone who gives feedback, that make me go WAH! because its rare. I believe this answer is found on the inside of us. Facing our fears and stopping lying to ourselves that everything is ok and this is our lot in life.

The friends and family I have today, all have this feedback gene and I so appreciate being able to share those times with them. With family it comes much more naturally as we have had to be honest with them (whether we like it or not). Again a great opportunity lies in front of us and rest assured the opportunity to put this honesty to the test will come shortly after you finish reading this article and certainly within 24hrs.

Not sure I have much more to say tonight, other than: be honest and know that if your honesty is challenged you can handle the outcome (of being honest and giving feedback) 100%.

Successful living and feeling free is all about what we have on the inside.      

Thank God for a great life! Im off to count my blessings! I felt a bit crap at the start of this blog and now I feel pretty pukka!.

Night night

Just one step away

Just think about this statement for a moment. I have been thinking about this one for a year or more.

You are only one step a way from so many things in life - just as i write, I am watching a recording of children in need (from last night) and almost crying as a little girl called shakira explains how her mum had a melanoma and was consequently just one step away from death and as a result of her illness she did in fact die.

We are also one step away from feeling like a success, or a failure, happy or sad. What I am not saying is that one or the other is wrong but rather I am saying its a choice; just one choice away. Just one step away from deciding to get fit, to eat more healthily, to drive more safely, to be joyful, to be depressed to be angry ... the list goes on.

Lets make some great next steps. A way I do this is by looking at life as a grid of say, nine boxes (to start - or it could be more) and put each part of our life (hypothetically) into a box. So box one, leisure, box two family, box three, work etc etc. We can then break our next steps into separate, little and manageable compartments that are in-line with the different aspects (or boxes) of our life.

For example; we may have a short fuse with our family and therefore the next 'self-improvement' step maybe that we want to be more patient (meaning we are only one step away from patience) or another example is that we maybe working too hard (?) and the target (or one step) would be that we want to finish earlier, well guess what? Forget the crap of 'you cant leave it' and simply finish work on time this week - yep you're getting it - you are one step away from showing discipline in this area.

Let's start being smart and making some decent yet very simple decisions that will make a massive difference and are indeed only one step away!

For the record I have been offered the opportunity to aquire 2 businesses, in the last week one related to property, mortgages etc and one to do with events and networkings. I will see where these go and its fair to say I am only one step away from owing a new vision/part of business/ or a whole business or not as the case may be. Either way we'll see where they go and its definitely up my street to (genuinely) enquire about business opportunities and I hope that I can take these opportunities to a win win situation, regardless of it makes money or not or whether it will take up my time or not. I find it's a big bonus not being motivated by money in these business situations.

Also its party time and Andy and Debs tonight, which we are looking forward too. There will be loads of people we haven't met before which is always good for the challenging of ones comfort zones!

Ps it was a great party.

See ya.

    

   

Where's that 10 years gone?

It's the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary and as I look back to the beggining of not being single - i can honestly say that its been a trully amazing journey of events, mostly good, with a few bad thrown in for the sake of life's good measure. It feels great to be here with all the things I have; inside,out and all around - meaning ... emotions, soul, mind material 'stuff' and not forgetting how delighted I am to have a lovely wife and 2 great boys. I love it. To put how I feel in context; Have you ever been to a party or day out and thought you don't want it to end because you are so happy and having such a fab time? well thats how i feel each day. I have even spoken, jokingly, to Jen about the worry of dying as I am having such a ball - seriously its a powerful emotion when one is having so much fun. Again jokingly I said to Jen if I were to pop me' clogs would she mind apologising to the 'audience' and reiterate my dissapointment for not being there ... in person!?

Just as an aside jen and I decided that we wouldn't buy gifts for our anniversary as we kind of treated our trip to ireland as that gift, but as I was driving passed COMET today I became spontaneous and decided to go in and buy her a video ipod - the type of purchase that i considered for a good 2 or 3 seconds before I jumped in and thought oh bugger it, you only live once. Whilst on the subject - as I feel richer on the inside I want for nothing and am finding it more and more difficult to justify basic purchases ... like a new shirt or jeans etc and I kind of think well I have loads at home ...

Ps. at a business networking lunch today a guy called lenny (who arranges bands for weddings etc) said I would make a good inspirational speaker and kind of proposed to be my inspirational speaker manager ... i think ... funny but true! who knows! Nice guy though

Bye bye

 

I doubt it will stop me.

What an emotion. Doubt. So many opportunities, each hour of every day, to doubt. Each corner, in life, we are faced with, the question can, and usually does, arise; what's round it? I think this links in to the whole can't make a decision category quite 'nicely'.

If you actually start to analyze your inner conversation (I'm assuming others have this too and if you don't I can recommend getting a grip of what you are doing on the inside). Much of my dialog is taken up by simply looking forward to what may or may nor happen either positively or negatively and in fairness I think that it is quite normal and an appropriate way of processing decisions and what next's ...  however i think the analytical process, rightly, presents, negative as well as positive consequences and I guess that can hold some people in a place of doubt / fear just in case the negative comes true, which of course it could - but i think you can't know and therefore you should just do it, whatever it is.

Although this clearly needs to be in the context of good common sense and morals. I mean, where would we be if that fear didn't stop? ... whilst thinking about going to the shop you could get engrossed in a fear of forgetting something or even as large as getting run over by a bus. I think doubt needs to be told to stop in our lives and the only way we can do that is by going for the very thing we were going to do before the fear/s and doubt/s set in.

Now thats got me thinking about how fear and doubt are (maybe) intrinsically linked.

I've decided, I love it!

During recent months I have spent alot of time thinking about people I know trying to make decisons (large and small) and I have realised that many people spend huge amounts of time trying to make the decision right before they have actually made the decision. I say you can't make a right decison this side of the decision, so let's just make a decision.

Without sounding arrogant this decisions 'thing' is something that I do very naturally maybe because I used to be nieve and had nothing to loose but even now with 'considerable' thing's to loose making decisons - is something I love and value.

I have found that all the decisons, without fail, (which has included considerable risk associated decisons) have not caused me any harm at all and in fact, they have, if a different outcome to the expected one, been a great opportunity for me to learn.

I have known some people to actually not make any decisons at all and yep you've guessed it they stay exactly where they were as a person years or months ago. Sad but true. They still have the same problems they did, probably a life-time ago.

I'm pleased to say that I don't have the problems or difficulties I have had in the past and that, I believe, is because problems and issues for me are an opprtunity to grow and consequently I feel like im getting large! so large I could burst.

Right ... school run here we come "where's his swimming stuff" "have you done his lunch" "coat" "teeth" ... I better go ...    

    

Dublin Trip

Well, well what a lovely bunch of people and what a lovely thing irish stew is! Yep, thats right, from the moment we arrived the people were so friendly. The taxi driver told us that he was enjoying the crack at the pub with guys whilst his wife and daughter were shopping in London and that he had the stew, that his wife cooked before she left, not for his tea, but for his breakfast as he was too drunk the night before. He asked us all if we had been to Ireland before and none of us, apart from Jen, had been. Jen told him she had visited Limerick and he immediately said "oh! stab city" we chuckled and he said "no really, thats what they call it" just at that he he reached into his car door side pocket and pulled out a 'doctored' home made sharp kitchen knife and said "this is what they carry in stab city". Needless to say we all laughed nervously and he returned to telling us about the city and the lovely hotel we were going to be staying at whilst we tried to stiffle our shreeks of fear! Anyway we arrived in one piece and paid him his euros.

At the hotel's reception the lady greeted us and first impressions were that we were in a boutique style hotel in a glorious old georgian building. Original photos of state type buildings hung everywhere and the receptionist lady was behind a very old desk, after booking us in, she then took us to our rooms. We walked two flights of a grand staircase and arrived at our room "this is your's" she said "the lord shelborne". She did not show us in but simply let us help ourselves. Flippin heck it was like ball room! and then our stay in this hotel went down hill. We turned the light on in the ensuite and the fan proceeded to rattle like ... well ... a rattley thing ... a loud rattely thing! The tiles in the bathroom were broken and the shower was so powerfull that it created a wind tunnel and hurricane effect all in one. It was so powerful it was too painful to stand under without fear of getting cut in half and not fit for the purpose it was created for! To avoid this shocking service but generally nice rooms see Brownes. Personally I wouldnt stay their again and would actually prefer crap room and great service rather than vice versa.

Moving on we went to cafe en siene on monday evening as our chosen watering hole and eatery. It was just one of those evenings, you know, the type where you settle in at 1930 ish and dont leave till well almost 0100! yes! A trully great night with really great friends; Andy 'master joiner' and Helen 'Physio' Jowett. Helen Physio was very helpful as she was encouraging jen with neck exercises (further to the car accident). In fact whilst I think about it Helen was also helpful with pieces of paper. Yep thats right pieces of paper ... Everytime (almost) any of us had a question, she would bring out a pile of A4 paper instructions with the answer on; I reckon if I had said Helen do you know anywhere I could eat guinea pig tonight, followed by a giraffe chaser, she would have got another piece of paper out with instructions, brief synopsis and prices of the exact request! Only joking Mrs J! You and Andy were prepared and jen and I were not!

Without boring the pants off of ya' we got up late tuesday morning and decided to go to the queen of tarts cafe as it had rave reviews and wow did it deserve it! lovely food and lovely service ... you know the type of service that has a couple of minutes to talk to their customers and the type of food that is clean and fresh looking! Sounds silly but im sure you know its unusual these days. I started my detox again after a serious night off and had a orange, apple and grapes oooo and 2 pots of earl grey! Yum!

We then flew home after buying me a new Ralph Lauren scarf. There were one or two other things that happened, and I have threatened my other travellers with posting a photo or two (or tree' as they say in dublin) but I have managed to refrain from boring you or embarrassing them.

Ps. One of the bar men took the mickey out of me big time as I ordered a dash of blackcurrant in my guiness. He even gave me a glass with 'half strength' written on it and told me I was big jessie! I went to the toilet in that pub and when I returned to my seat he shouted over "did you manage to find the ladies?!"

Laters!

Never mind out for the day, it was almost out forever!

So as per the earlier article we decided to go for the day to Thwaite, In Swaledale. We took both cars as there were 6 of us. Jen followed me in the mercedes, with grampy and Bill, and Granny (josie) and Owen and I went in front in the 4x4. All was going well and having both filled up with fuel and put air in the tyres, we set off. Fourty minutes in we had passed by kilnsey cragg when the Citroen in front of me breaked seriously far to quickly, I breaked and managed to stop a foot from him, I saw Jen in my mirror scream to halt and not hit me and then ... a new silver ford focus who was doing between 40 and 60 MPH came over the brow of the hill and into the back of Jens car sandwiching her between mine and his. Everyone is ok. Thank God.

After the initial shock I got out the car, checked our family was ok and then got all of them to the side of the road and then grampy (trev) and I started directing the traffic, some of which was still flying along. At the same time (who said men cant multi-task!!) I called the police as the road was blocked and I felt that the guys in front of me had caused the accident but didnt want to try and sort it out myself. However, speaking to the policeman (after my breath test) he said that the guy who was last would probably be done for driving without due care and attention, which I think is a shame. That said Jen and I did stop, so I guess if he was driving a little slower he could of too. He looked pretty miffed after the policeman spoke to him last of all and he was clearly being interviewed longer than the other drivers.

My 4x4 was mashed at the back and you can see that in the photo album too, probably a new truck bit is required to fix my truck!

Do you know I feel fine about it all, but its amazing how quickly ones 'sunny' day can change. Thank God (again) that we are all still kicking and able to enjoy the weekend.I am often surprised how unblaming I am! and I know that sounds a tad arrogant but its not supposed too.

Dublin here we come ( we are going tommorrow) with good friends Andy and Helen.

Laters

Out for the day

Having slept better, because of the currently succesful detox, I have managed to relieve Jen of her weekend duties i.e. getting up! I tend to get up monday to friday and she gets up at the weekend. However I am, like me' old man, (only joking dad!) an early morning person and Jen is the exact opposite meaning I fall asleep on the sofa (when im not detoxing) and she stays up with light on reading till the early hours. Its all coming back into balance though and before long we will have first ever joint meeting after 2130hrs ... of course im joking!

Moving on ... we are going out with the resident in laws (jo and trev) and the boys. We are going to a beautiful place with a little river between Kettlewell and Hawes in the Dales. Needless to say its stunning and we will take our camping stove and some stuff to make a cup of tea.

The in-laws have been with us since Thursday and are warming up for babysitting session number two on monday and tuesday because we are off to dublin with friends Andy and Helen.

Whilst thinking about it this whole detox regime is making me feel really bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Back later, im going to get the day! 

Life is Sooooo Good!

Blow me Down! More and more regularly, in fact almost daily, I have litterally been feeling physically sick with the excitment of life. I often phone Jen and tell her how great life is and we then go on to create fantastically long lists of things we are happy with. We regularly refer to the adversities we have overcome knowing that other peoples bitterness, dissapointments or just their insecurities have not held us from where we intend to go i.e. fulfiling our personal and business dreams.

I genuinely believe that life is there for the taking and we, if growing is our intention, can direct life in the way we want. Yes I beleive there is a god who has planned my days but I also beleive he put everything inside me and has given me a brain, hands and feet to go and get the life I want. I certainly do not believe (as some do) that my faith makes me like a puppet on a string being controlled by a master puppeteer.

I am on a determined track for; 'life to serve my needs' rather than for me to be enslaved to it. In fact a minute part of that attitude is that I am currently detoxing and not taking tea, coffee or alcohol, and eating just fruit / toast / soup in the day and one proper meal at night (and perhaps cornflakes or toast as a snack later in the evening) which although is difficult is happening because for weeks I have felt that food and drink has become a habbit, something I genuinely hate and it makes me feel like its telling me what to do, rather than the other way round.

Anyway I started it on thursday and I love feeling like I have more energy, however, caffine withdrawl can be nasty and I spent most of the day in bed (Friday - and had to cancel appointments) because I felt like I had a monster hangover and then been driven over! he he. That said I was better again by 1600hrs and was able to attend an awards dinner for CAP charity. It was a great event and I thoroughly enjoyed being there and feeling well! A couple of my clients attended too and I also took a voice mail from an existing one saying he was ready to go for (house) number two. Fantastic!

I have done this whole detox thing before and i am again looking forward to feeling great in just few days and feel like I am telling life what to do rather than being dragged kicking and screaming into the day (given that the kids are often up before 0600!

Speak soon